


23

by Coraleeveritas



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-29 12:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1005644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coraleeveritas/pseuds/Coraleeveritas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the J/B Shuffled Challenge</p>
<p>Jaime finds himself torn between the past and the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	23

**Author's Note:**

> My second, and probably last, entry for the Shuffled challenge and I'm continuing to hopefully bring a little fluff into the great sea of angst.
> 
> The song is 23 by Jimmy Eat World, lyrics at the end.
> 
> Thanks to RoseHeart as usual for reading and brilliantly reassuring me that I'm not as bad as I always think :)
> 
> Characters etc all belong to GRRM, I'm just borrowing them for a little while.

23

The light ahead was red and if Jaime Lannister had been the type of man who believed in fate then he might have seen it as a sign to turn around. A chance to apologise. Maybe not to the woman who likely still lingered in his borrowed bed but to the other one. 

Brienne.

The girl who had stood at his door that morning, blushing furiously at his state of undress, as she asked him not to take any unnecessary risks on his trip. That a photograph on the front page from Syria or Pakistan wasn't worth his life. Asking him to swear it on their years of friendship. For her.

The light flashed to green as Jaime got closer and he floored the accelerator, not stopping for a single second. Not looking back, not even thinking. 

Deep down he knew last night had been a mistake. Not the part where Brienne had actually laughed through her tears or when one drink turned into a number he couldn't remember, but what came after. 

She didn't initiate nights out very often, even if they were only in the same city for a couple of weeks at a time, but when she did Jaime couldn't help but think that stealing moments with her could have led to something more. They'd barely toed that line, a kiss at Christmas, a spark at Easter and by that rate he'd be retired before anything happened.

That night Brienne didn't want anything but an hour or two to forget. Jaime didn't know how she did it most of the time, her case load was drowning her at the council and when she had called almost in tears he knew something had happened to one of the foster kids she was dealing with. 

Jaime felt an overwhelming urge to kiss her as night was becoming morning and she hovered beside a taxi. But he wouldn't see Brienne again for weeks, maybe months, and even the potential damage to their friendship couldn't shake the idea that he would be taking advantage of her rare vulnerability if he went home with her.

For the first time in his life Jaime suddenly wanted something that wasn't entirely selfish. 

So Brienne went home to an actual house, with a real key and a dog that loved her unconditionally, and he returned to the hotel room the newspaper had put him up in. Jaime was only ever in London for short periods, he'd never been able to settle anywhere for very long before he was off chasing down another story. He'd seen half the world through a camera lens with a platoon of soldiers at his back, just so his editor could shock the country with the truth about whichever war they were currently championing. And there was always another war.

Cersei was waiting for him in the reception area, freshly divorced and as radiant as the sun. Though his romantic relationship with his stepsister was just about over, allowing hate to become as strong as lust, Jaime had never been good at saying no to her even if all of Cersei's questions were silent.

Brienne had seen, must have seen his slip up and as he drove Jaime hoped the haunting look in her stunning blue eyes didn't betray too much disappointment. She knew the whole sordid tale anyway, the only one who did, and had lived through most of it with him. If only she hadn't expected him to become a better man after what had happened in Cairo, he might not feel so guilty.

Jaime was catching all the lights on red and he slowed to a crawl, noticing the billboard looming over him that asked him to choose. It was for a car or a holiday or something but he bit back a laugh. Someone in local government clearly had a warped sense of humour. Especially as turning left gave him another month away from a home he didn't really have and right meant one less regret to live with.

It wasn't a choice Jaime was entirely comfortable with but he made it without a second thought. He couldn't leave without seeing her again. The only person he'd ever come across who accepted him scars and all.

"Do you know what time it is?" Brienne growled as she answered the phone, making him smile.

"If you didn't want the hangover you should have stopped drinking earlier."

"Jaime." There was an unwanted dead child somewhere in central London and Brienne might have been the only one mourning the loss, he knew he should have cut her some slack but he couldn't. "What do you want?"

"I'm outside. Let me in."

She sighed audibly, as if this was a regular occurrence. "What about your job?"

"I've got time, come down and let me in."

"No." It was just like Brienne to shut a conversation down completely, but he knew the chinks in her armour.

"I'm sorry."

"Why? You're not my boyfriend, you can sleep around if you want. It's not like I'd have any say in the matter."

"Do you want to?" Jaime finally turned off his dawdling engine as he heard the sharp intake of breath that indicated Brienne had worked through his proposition. 

"You're never here", she told him, "We wouldn't work. It wouldn't be right."

Jaime had made it out of his car to lean on the gate to her front garden, looking up to where Brienne was doing a very bad job of discreetly watching him from an upstairs window. "You'll be waiting forever if you think there's a right time for anything."

She firmly glared, infuriatingly stubborn as she left his eye line. "Go get your picture and we'll talk when you get back."

"I'm here now Brienne, let me in."

"Jaime", she called his name softly, standing bleary eyed on her doorstep and still in her pyjamas despite it being almost lunchtime. "You don't owe me anything."

"I'm going to be careful."

Brienne crossed her arms, hugging herself even though it wasn't cold. "You won't, but thank you for saying it. Good..."

He was through the gate and up her path in a second, causing her to jump and shiver as he took her chin and looked into her eyes. "Don't you dare even think this is goodbye. How many times have I gone out this year?"

"Too many."

"This is assignment number 23. And I'm still here."

There was a tremble along her lower lip, "But Jaime..."

"No buts. You don't get to act like the martyr here, weeping over me like I'm in the ground already."

"You're old enough to take care of yourself. I wouldn't weep, I'd mourn."

"Then don't mourn what you haven't lost." It was stupid, he probably still had the bitterness of Cersei all over him but Jaime gently pressed his lips to Brienne's. "For luck", he told her, "Selmy knows how to get in contact with me."

"Good... luck", Brienne whispered, turning to head back into her house with a smile that pierced his heart.

It didn't feel like an ending, Jaime still had time to find that, instead it felt like something was just beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :) All comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!
> 
> 23
> 
>  
> 
> I felt for sure last night  
> That once we said goodbye  
> No one else will know these lonely dreams  
> No one else will know that part of me  
> I'm still driving away  
> And I'm sorry every day  
> I won't always love these selfish things  
> I won't always live...  
> Not stopping...
> 
> It was my turn to decide  
> I knew this was our time  
> No one else will have me like you do  
> No one else will have me, only you
> 
> You'll sit alone forever  
> If you wait for the right time  
> What are you hoping for?  
> I'm here I'm now I'm ready  
> Holding on tight  
> Don't give away the end  
> The one thing that stays mine
> 
> Amazing still it seems  
> I'll be 23  
> I won't always love what I'll never have  
> I won't always live in my regrets
> 
> You'll sit alone forever  
> If you wait for the right time  
> What are you hoping for?  
> I'm here I'm now I'm ready  
> Holding on tight  
> Don't give away the end  
> The one thing that stays mine


End file.
